economic ludes
The Blobs Bailout:A
Environmental issues are crucial to the sucess of our country. More sustainability and less waste.
No more christmas lights, end all.
People that take shits over 2lbs are fined and have to pay $1.75 back towards one of the economic bailout packages.
Let’s implement that fat tax, for each pound of MOOB fat, you have to spend x amount of hours with a teenage fat kid helping him to lose weight. If he loses weight, you can keep the weight, if he gains weight, you can win the contest.
Bank of America gives us all $5 to spend at Target
Drive Thru’s are officially closed for business to save gas.
7-11 is no longer allowed to operate as lotto shavings and anti freeze from all the deadbeat fucks that run in and out of that dump day in and day out are poisoning the aquifer.
No more yachts. All Luxury yachts will be brought to shore and turned into housing for the homeless, or neighborhood taverns.
RV’s are okay, but they aren’t allowed to move any more.
People are no longer allowed to commute more than 20 miles one way to work,
People carpooling have the right to be searched and prosecuted
Limit 1 dog per person
Local Consumer Debt Program: Anyone with over $5,000 of consumer debt can take the option to work it off by cleaning 40 homes in their local zip code (thoroughly, not just vacuuming and dusting, I’m talking scrubbing). Once the work is complete their debts are waived and absorbed by the government.
Each American shall have 5 things that they MUST complete by the end of the year 2009 or they will be put in jail. These 5 things must in some way directly benefit the overall good of the American Public or Economy or overall Wellness of the nation.
Nude tolls: All tollways in America will have a high roller lane for those that want to donate more to America’s roadways. Toll Lanes for special travelers will have nude attendants and also offer 5 minute pull of stops with hot oil erotic massages. These massages are given by innmates at the pen (female or male) and all proceeds go to highway safety.
Tax breaks for folks that work from home and are willing to telecommute and somehow prove it.
Rich folks need to list luxury items in public forum, the most wasteful can be commented on and evetually attacked by raging mobs with torches. For example, Tiger Woods doesn’t need 4 yachts and a gardener and a swimming pool and a house that costs $10,000 per month in utilities. The rich don’t need all this shit, take it away, redistribute to bums so they can sell it back to the middle class.
Dry Cleaners are to shut down. America needs to learn how to press and launder our own clothes.
By 2010 all American citizens should have a portable laptop sewn into their genitals
I’m out of ideas for now. Please contribute. I haven’t wrote in so long, and not sure anyone cares or reads anything any more.
Do something for America, do it now!
26 Nov
