So I’ve had the miserable priveldge of eating at Subway almost daily since my new office is only a few doors down from the Subway. I’ve finally found a low cal fat buster salad that’s not packed with pubes and carbs. Most of you are naturally skinny, and you can carb up and still not give a fuck. I don’t even eat any carbs, and I still can’t see my dick when I piss so I have to consider the low cal alternatives. So in my history of Subway, I’ve discovered the salads. The first few times they sucked balls, and knowing the staff is important. You have to be forceful, demanding, and literally steer them towards putting the right toppings onto the sub or salad. Be careful with meth heads and others that are miserable (90% of the staff) they will ruin your sub, but if you cultivate a good relationship with these people, you just may be in store for a healthy oasis of food that doesn’t make you spackle the office porcelain.
This salad is EASY. If Jarrod had this salad he’d be looking etheopian in no time. Anyway. Nowadays, you get them to make the salad half regular lettuce and half spinach. First get the chicken flourentine and ask them to microwave it, I get double meat because I have to feed my monstrous penis. As they microwave, make sure and get 1/2 lettuce, 1/2 spinach. Load all the veggies, the more the better. Don’t let them be cheap about it, really load em up. Then u have to make sure and time the hot chicken and the cheese at the same time. If you can’t see your dick when you piss, you better axe the cheese. Also add vinegar and oil. If you want natural fat like olive oil and olives, which they say are good for your heart, I’d do it. Makes for a nice coating over my ulcer that I’ve got from pill abuse and alcoholism. Garnish with Oregano. Make sure and get Jalepenos. IF you are trying to watch salt intake watch out for the pickled shit.
This is a low carb meal, you can do the math when u first get in there and count up the chicken, the veggies aren’t much for calories or fat. The key here is the chicken, THE CHICKEN, it’s what makes it filling enough for a salad. Be careful with tuna as it’s not only filled with Disgruntled employee SEMEN, but also has fatty mayo.
So that’s my pick of the week for salad. Subway is cheap, they see a salad and usually just charge you salad prices and not think that you got meat.
The key is the microwave and the low fat chicken. Of course you can do lunch meat, sometimes a little pepperoni or bacon is a great mix with the chicken especially if you can get them to cut it up.
Happy Lunching!
